crap

i just fixed myself a drink, but poured majority of it away. yucks i think my bacardi is spoilt or sth. it tastes like shit. i feel like some alcoholic, but i know im not. thts probably good enough. im just drinking cuz i feel fucked up, for no apparent reason. things jus haven't been going right, and im feeling damn fucked up.
I think i think too much. i really want top be childish and full of shit once again. like the me of old. with nary a care in the world. i really miss those days when i can spout wave after wave of nonsense. where is the me of old? why am i becoming like some old man? why am i thinking so much? and why am i complaining so much. i think i would feel damn irritated too if i were talking to someone like myself.
rescue me please. bring me back to the carefree life i used to lead. let me be the happy go lucky soul i once was. it's scary how events happening around one can cause changes, drastic changes like this.
i wanna be me once again!!!